On Kindergarten, Inclusion and 2014

On Wednesday the boys will be starting Kindergarten. In many ways it is so hard to believe that they are going to school. I was upset when we sent them off to Preschool but Kindergarten has been different for me. There could be a couple of different factors for this.

Maybe because Bryce was turned away from our home school, maybe because that home school waited to tell us 3 days before Kindergarten registration that Bryce would have other plans.

We had done Preschool for two years and never once was it brought to my attention that BOTH boys wouldn’t continue on at THAT school. You can only imagine how “upsetting” it was to have a meeting 3 days before Kindergarten registration informing me that Bryce would need to switch schools… OH – and Cohen would not have the option of changing schools with him. Soak it in for a minute. This was the conversation that I had just this past February 2014….. 2014! I won’t even go into the horrible comments that were made during that meeting. I am sure this person was not malicious but should learn how to approach situations differently. The example of some doctors and their bad bedside manners could really be applied to this meeting.

I cannot believe that any child would be turned away from any school --- in 2014! I guess I remain naïve in some areas because I would have never dreamed that this would have happened. I was so upset that I did contact the State Board of Education and was reassured that I could fight and win this. I was encouraged though to attend the school that Bryce was being referred to just so that I do my due diligence. So that is what we did….and admittedly……. I loved the set up. Matt and I walked in to observe a general Kindergarten classroom and the students were working on writing – that is when it hit me. As much as I was fighting for Bryce to be in the general classroom, there would be times that would be best that he is pulled out to work on other activities (such as his communication device when it comes). I would not want to force Bryce to sit in that classroom for an activity that he cannot participate in. I wouldn’t force him to sit and watch when he cannot do what all the other children in the class can do.

Ultimately we did make the choice to go with this school – it has always been about what is best for Bryce and NOT about proving a point. With that decision, we still had another problem…. I was NOT going to allow the boys to be in separate schools. After all the conversations we have had with Cohen….different is different… but different is ok…. BUT you are so different you cannot attend the same class let alone the same school! That was simply not an option. Fortunately we were allowed to apply for a “waiver” which they amended just this school year. The waiver would allow for Cohen to also attend the school since his sibling was “referred.”

I was very hesitant about the entire situation. We purposely did preschool at the home school to ensure an easy transition. Our home is minutes away from that school, but now our drive will be 25 minutes one way.

The boys did go to Jumpstart last Friday and both had a blast. We learned once we picked them up that they met some friends, had Teddy Grahams and toured the school bus. The awesome part was the resource teacher made sure Bryce also had Teddy Grahams and toured the bus. It wasn't a handicap bus so she took him out of his chair and he sat with her for a little bus ride around the parking lot. I was so happy to hear that without a lecture of inclusion and Bryce, she had done this. I already love her for that!

Later that day I had a meeting with the some of the staff to inform them on some of Bryce’s history, daily challenges and what we expect to happen with him in the coming months. I won't bore you with the details but I was more than happy with our discussion. When I left that building my entire view completely changed. I do believe we did the right thing and we will move on from what happened back in February. I just want people to know that this sort of thing still happens. I just thought our nation has come further along than that – but I have been proved wrong.

Wednesday I will send my two little miracles to Kindergarten knowing that this new school is gaining two very awesome little men. I appreciate the staff I met with on Friday for making us feel more than welcome. I can now say that I am excited for this Kindergarten Year! I couldn’t have said that a few months ago. So I will drop them off and smile like one very proud Momma as they walk through those big doors probably blinding them with camera flashes.